So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
