Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
