3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
