when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
porn star boner night. come get it.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
