stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
