Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
