I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
