can u get pink eye on your cock?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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