I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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