She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
