So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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