What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
