we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
