i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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