I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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