Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize