I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
