You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
