When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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