i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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