I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
