Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
