Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
