I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
