There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
