Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
