I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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