That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
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he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.