Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.

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(614): I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help. http://tfl.nu/rixg

Replies (20) Good night (2746) Bad night (5260)
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(626): View more from California

Dignity is for republicans.

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(626): Dignity is for republicans. http://tfl.nu/vkse

Replies (39) Good night (5021) Bad night (1698)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..

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(952): Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day.. http://tfl.nu/4gef

Replies (25) Good night (3911) Bad night (1496)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.

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(910): I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through. http://tfl.nu/z33k

Replies (14) Good night (2175) Bad night (4736)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?

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(605): Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying? http://tfl.nu/tphe

Replies (12) Good night (4334) Bad night (1152)
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(573): View more from Missouri

I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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(573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x

Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (1432)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?

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(602): I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!? http://tfl.nu/p185

Replies (8) Good night (1014) Bad night (2358)
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(240): View more from Maryland

and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

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(240): and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore. http://tfl.nu/oorw

Replies (3) Good night (4237) Bad night (845)
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(210): View more from Texas

so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.

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(210): so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail. http://tfl.nu/722m

Replies (8) Good night (1683) Bad night (673)
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(631): View more from New York

I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.

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(631): I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis. http://tfl.nu/wmkv

Replies (5) Good night (1812) Bad night (599)
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(807): View more from Ontario

Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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(807): Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath http://tfl.nu/x0dh

Replies (7) Good night (2731) Bad night (663)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway

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(651): I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway http://tfl.nu/e0rj

Replies (2) Good night (1372) Bad night (511)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.

(1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs

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(610): No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her. (1-610): That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs http://tfl.nu/zsmx

Replies (5) Good night (1873) Bad night (555)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?

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(314): Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave? http://tfl.nu/zqej

Replies (3) Good night (707) Bad night (289)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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(601): Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career. http://tfl.nu/22e3

Replies (4) Good night (750) Bad night (370)

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