Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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