Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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