he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
