I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
