took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
