her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
