alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
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He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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