just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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