Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
