my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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