He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
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Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
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He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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