i need an iv and a liver transplant
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
