We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
