three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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