Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
