New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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