So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
tequila makes me forget i have legs
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
