please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
