Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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