just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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