You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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