cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
