I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
