I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Blood and glitter go together right?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
