My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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