His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
