Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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