But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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