Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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