"it" just moved
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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