Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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