went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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