using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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