It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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