quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
