so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
