pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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