Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
don't judge my taste in strippers
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize