These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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