Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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