it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My ATM looks so different sober.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
