so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
