i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
