You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
