Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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