I CAN MOONWALK!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
