I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
